Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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