My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
