trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Sorry about my life...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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