please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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