I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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