Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
