I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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