I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Never let your siblings swipe right.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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