Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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