Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm really busy with my period
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