Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
