butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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