I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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