I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
