I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He shit in the fireplace
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