Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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