I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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