you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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