You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
