ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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