8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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