# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Who died my cat blue again?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
