Will you blow on my dice?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
