The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
