gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
