Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
