I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
