Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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