you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
