Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
should my penis look like a turkey
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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