Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
