He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
