Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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