So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
