after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize