We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
