Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
