a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize