I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
