these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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