It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
