i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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