I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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