That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
