Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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