Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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