onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
