no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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