HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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