This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
