It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize