: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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