Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
