Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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