I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
