im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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