You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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