fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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