True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
