That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
