Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
